School Ties by Tamsen Parker

Author:Tamsen Parker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2016-09-01T15:44:33+00:00

Shep

The show’s winding down and most everyone’s gone back to the dorms. It’s coming up on curfew, so I start nudging the lingering guys toward the door. When I’ve cleared out the first floor and the basement, I head up to the second floor. It’s empty, except for Erin, who’s picking up stray cups and napkins left on benches and pedestals, party detritus.

She looks up, startled at my approach before turning back to her chore. “I thought everyone had gone.”

“They have.”

This is so painful. Every time I see her, it hurts. This is especially hard, remembering four years ago. Those drawings are hanging up in my bedroom because I’m an emotional masochist. The dress she’s got on isn’t helping. The dark purple fabric clings in a way tweed has no right to. It shows off her shape, and a hint of cleavage. And she’s wearing those shoes. Those same stupid shoes with the tiny fucking bows on them. Universe, you blow.

“I thought Ellie was on cleanup duty for this?”

“She was. She wasn’t feeling well so I said I’d do it.”

Erin’s not looking at me. Her eyes are searching for every last scrap to pick up and throw away so she doesn’t have to.

“I’ll help.”

A bitter expression flits across her face but it may as well fly across the room and stab me in the chest. Ouch.

“That’s not necessary. There’s not much to do; it won’t take me long.”

But because I’m a stubborn fuck and as noted earlier, a specific type of masochist, I can’t help it. “Then it’ll take even less time with the both of us.”

“Suit yourself.”

I may not be able to have her, but I also don’t want her to hate me. Especially if I end up getting to stay. She’s right, there isn’t much to do, and we’re finished up here in a few minutes, silently dragging furniture back to its place before heading downstairs for a repeat performance. The truth is I don’t want her walking across campus alone at this time of night, though I’m sure she’d be fine. But I’m going to allow myself to walk her up to Sullivan because it’s one desire where Erin is concerned I can indulge in safely.

When we’ve picked up every stray gum wrapper and moved back all the benches that had been moved to accommodate the crowds, we stand awkwardly in the entryway.

“Let me walk you home.”

The words are out of my mouth before I can shove them back down and I curse myself. I should’ve done it like I used to, not spelling out the obvious and give her a chance to say no, but it’s too late.

“You want to walk me home?” Her tone and her expression are cloudy with doubt. A hint of defiance makes me want to drag her by the hair over to the nearest bench, take her over my knee and spank her until her face is wet with tears and she says she’s sorry, she’ll never doubt me again. But that’s not an option.

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